The Guest House

by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honourably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

I have this poem hanging on my wall, and I look at it frequently even though I know it by heart.

It is in our human nature to want to avoid uncomfortable and painful feelings. When I am feeling low, I can recognise the urge to run away from these feelings by seeking distraction and trying to busy my mind with other things. We can also find other ways to numb these feelings, for example by drinking or taking drugs. For some of us, even physical pain can be preferable to emotional hurt.

It is a good thing that our emotional states are not permanent. Emotions come and go, no matter how much we may be clinging to joy or pushing sadness away. Ultimately, we are not in control of our emotional states. Perhaps it is better to try and accept that we are feeling what we are feeling in this moment, knowing that these feelings will soon transform into other feelings.

What if we reframed our feelings as a steady flow of guests who come and go unannounced? Some may just be staying overnight, others may need to remain longer. Some may seem more pleasant than others at first sight, yet even the less likeable ones may enrich our lives, leaving us changed through unexpected insights. Rumi encourages us to not just accept whatever we are feeling, but to actively welcome and embrace all emotions without judgment. No doubt, this is not always an easy thing to do, but I think it is worth a try. Facing the sadness, fear and pain after we have tried to push them away unsuccessfully can be a surprising and liberating experience. Welcoming joy and delight when they do arrive, knowing and accepting that they may transform into other feelings again soon, can help us find greater equanimity.